Estatuto y Estatuta de Aunotomía para Andasulía

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Se conocieron en el centro comercial de la urbanización Mar de los Primores. Ella acababa de comprar tres latas de medusas en escabeche en la sección de conservas. Las frescas, en la pescadería, estaban demasiado caras. Oyó entonces a su espalda un susurro seductor:

- Andalucía, a lo largo de su historia, ha forjado una robusta y sólida identidad que le confiere un carácter singular como pueblo, asentado desde épocas milenarias en un ámbito general diferenciado.

Estatuto y Estatuta.jpg- Y tan diferenciado – dijo ella, volviéndose con una sonrisa -. ¿Qué sería de la identidad andaluza sin todas estas urbanizaciones de aberrante estética hormigonera, montadas a base de pelotazo urbanístico en las vegas y en los sobacos de los montes?

Tenía ante ella a todo un donjuán sexagenario, un caballero a la antigua usanza que se levantó el peluquín plateado como muestra de galantería.

- Nuestro valioso patrimonio social y cultural es parte esencial de España, en la que los andaluces y andaluzas nos reconocemos, compartiendo un mismo proyecto basado en los valores de justicia, libertad y seguridad – sentenció con ese enfático acento andaluz de cartón piedra que les sale a los locutores de Canal Sur cuando dicen “la nuehtra”.

El flechazo fue fulminante: se cogieron de la mano y salieron paseando juntos a la calle. En la acera de enfrente dos lozanos muchachos apaleaban a un magrebí. Ella, conmovida, no pudo reprimir un comentario:

- La interculturalidad de las prácticas, hábitos y modos de vida se ha expresado a lo largo del tiempo sobre una unidad de fondo que acrisola una pluralidad histórica.

Uno de los zagales levantó la cabeza y asintió con vehemencia.

- Es más, se manifiesta en un patrimonio cultural tangible e intangible, dinámico y cambiante, popular y culto, único entre las culturas del mundo – dijo, y acto seguido le arreó otra patada en la cabeza al magrebí.

Reemprendieron el paseo, reconfortados.

- Según el artículo 169 del capítulo II del título VI, los poderes públicos fomentarán el acceso al empleo de los jóvenes y orientarán sus políticas a la creación de empleo estable y de calidad para todos los andaluces y andaluzas – dijo él, soñador.

- Claro que sí – ella apoyó su cabeza en el pecho varonil, contemplando la puesta de sol -. Y si muy de vez en cuando las cosas se ponen chungas, es sanísimo que la juventud tenga inmigrantes que apalear. Así pasan el mal trago de perder el curro en el ChiquiBurger, y todo por no dejar que el encargado los sodomice en el armario de la fregona. Y es que parece que a algunos tener un doctorado en matemáticas y tres masters en Oxford les aprieta el culo más de la cuenta.

Él confesó entonces que era constructor y quería levantar una urbanización de quince plantas en el coto de Doñana.

- Oh – se alarmó ella -. Pero según el artículo 197 del título VII, los poderes públicos orientarán sus políticas especialmente a la protección del litoral y la red de espacios naturales protegidos.

Él la besó, enamorado hasta el tuétano de su ingenuidad.

- No te preocupes, tontita – dijo -, soy cuñado de… – y susurró a su oído la más hermosa de las palabras mágicas.

Ella se derritió en sus brazos. En el horizonte, las medusas mutantes hacían palmas con los flagelos celebrando el nacimiento de un amor eterno.

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