Mi berano azul

No, no me he equivocado. Mi berano azul tiene una B.

Lo contaré:  aquel año Beraneamos en un pueblecito de la costa.
En un hostal  a pensión completa. Lo cual no era ninguna incongruencia pues el hostal era más bien  una cutre pero divertida pensión completa. Mi padre aquel berano inventó su propio lenguaje, con el que se dirigía  a nosotros para descifrarlo.

“¿Niño, te has puesto ya los lupatos y la zumizeta y los pamplones?”

Cada día inventaba una palabra porque le sulibeyaba.

Había en hostal un tipo  que se llamaba Bernabé y era muy tacaño y pesado. MUY PESADO. Pesado con cojones.

Mi padre se compró un diccionario de nombres propios y lo utilizó:
“Hola don Bartolo, que escabeche…”
“Bernabé, gracias…”

A la hora de la cena:
“Hola Bernardino, que escabeche”.
“Bernabé, me llamo Bernabé, gracias”.

En el desayuno:
“Hola Braulio, que escabeche”.
“Bernabé, que es Bernabé,  gracias”.

Al día siguiente:

“Hola Baltasar…que escabeche”. “Hola Balduino…que escabeche”.
“Hola Balbino…que escabeche”. “Hola Blas, que escabeche…”
“Hola Bruno, que escabeche…” “Hola Benedicto… que escabeche…”
“¡Que me llamo Bernabé!”
“Perdón, pues que escabeche, Bonifacio”.

“Déjalo ya papá, nunca lo llamas por su nombre…”
“Hijo mío, lo que me jode es el ego de las personas. Se queja de que nunca digo su nombre propio y no se da cuenta de que no le digo que aproveche, y que conste que escabechar no lo digo con maldad”.

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