El casting de Benedicto XVI


Durante la reciente visita papal, muchos de ustedes habrán pensado: ¡Qué bien se lo monta este Benedicto! ¡Eso son viajes, y no los del Inserso! ¡Menudo chollo ha pillao con eso de ser Papa!

¡Arrepiéntanse, blasfemos! Llegar a Papa no es nada fácil, como prueba el impresionante documento descubierto por los investigadores de Irreverendos.

Tras la muerte de Juan Pablo II, la Iglesia, preocupada por una posible caída de su popularidad, contrató a profesionales de Hollywood para organizar el casting del nuevo Papa. Irreverendos les ofrece en exclusiva el dossier con los candidatos que más cerca estuvieron de conseguir el papel, con las anotaciones de pros y contras escritas por el cónclave vaticano, y una estampita de prueba para cada candidato.

gibson.jpgPapa Gibson


  • Creyente confeso
  • Ha usado su posición para difundir las escrituras
  • La barba le da un aspecto adecuadamente mesiánico


  • Demasiado truculento

cruise.jpgPapa Cruise


  • Ama la vida y ama el amor
  • Tiene el don de sanar a los enfermos


  • Primero habría que desprogramarlo de la Cienciología

clooney.jpgPapa Clooney


  • Él y Dios van al mismo sastre
  • Él y Dios conducen el mismo coche
  • Lo más parecido a Dios sobre la tierra


  • Tanta perfección resulta blasfema

bush.jpgPapa Bush


  • Cita a Dios en una de cada dos frases
  • Lucha contra el Imperio del Mal


  • Lucha con excesivo entusiasmo
  • Todavía no ha terminado Mi primer catecismo (dice que tiene muchas letras y pocos dibujos)



  • Su padre lo envió desde el cielo para salvarnos
  • Viajes pastorales rápidos y económicos


  • Sospechosa afición a los atuendos coloristas y ajustados
  • Posible homer-sexual



  • Porte aristocrático y mirada magnética
  • Procede de una familia de rancio abolengo
  • Luchó contra los sarracenos


  • Alérgico a las cruces
  • Tiene la fea costumbre de relamerse cuando dice eso de: Esta es la sangre de Cristo…

Y en nuestra próxima entrega: ¡RECONTRAEXCLUSIVA! ¡Los candidatos españoles a Papa!

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