Alimaña 2006

Ustedes disculparán que me vaya de tema, pero el mundial de fútbol ya está aquí y yo tengo necesidad de hablar de otras cosas. No intento reivindicar nada, ni siquiera pretendo otorgar más importancia a un asunto o a otro, empezando a cansarlos con aquello de que mientras ustedes miran a los huevones corriendo detrás de la pelota los pobres se mueren de hambre, y termino por dormirlos reflexionando sobre las fortunas de los jugadores que se podrían invertir en la limpieza de baños públicos. Simplemente, ejerzo mi libertad –ya que todavía puedo- de escribir sobre lo que tengo ganas de escribir. Y para ser más preciso, diría que no se trata exactamente de escribir sobre lo que tengo ganas, sino que escribo sobre aquello que no puedo soportar y al escribirlo me siento un poco más aliviado. Como al mundial de fútbol lo puedo soportar bastante bien –a pesar de que no cuento con los medios para verlo en la tele de mi casa- no hablaré de ello hoy, aunque es lo que toca.

Hablaré de los tipos que están encerrados en el Campo Estadounidense de Tortura y Exterminio en Guantánamo mientras nosotros sufrimos por el golpecito que le dieron a Raúl en el muslo durante el entrenamiento con sus compañeritos, justo antes de la cena que los chefs de Kamen preparaban para la selección.
Bien, creo que ya no hay casi nada más que decir sobre ninguno de los dos temitas. Así que resumo aquí lo que resta en una pocas palabras: por un lado, yo veré junto a tanto otros, los partidos del mundial que más me interesen, y aunque lamento no sumarme al cántico “a por ellos oé” porque no soy muy devoto a la poesía, sí me alegraré con los triunfos de la Selección porque ya va siendo hora de que logre uno.
Por otro lado, al gobierno de Estado Unidos le está haciendo falta un buen enemigo, pero uno bueno de verdad, no un venezolano que insulta, ni un afgano contratado por ellos para tirar las Torres, ni un payaso enclenque como yo que balbucea en un blog de humor mientras espera ansioso las semifinales de Alemania 2006. Hace falta un Fidel de veinte años, que si bien es difícil que aparezca uno, parece más probable eso, antes que la remota posibilidad de que Europa abra los ojos. Ya que aquí los adolescentes de treinta y siete primaveras todavía se la cascan en casa de papá y mamá, con la comida hecha y ahorrando para el tunning. ¿Qué digo? Si Europa ha avanzado mucho, ahora ya no generaliza en acto aberrante de machismo indigno, ahora dice tod@s. ¡Qué modern@s som@s! Imbéciles. Estados Unidos tiene montado un Campo de Tortura y Exterminio de seres humanos hoy. Hoy, y con el consentimiento de la suficiente cantidad de gente como para que eso siga existiendo. Está ahí. Lo hizo en Guantánamo para no ensuciar su suelo con ideas de Hitler.

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En el telediario español de Antena 3, ése que se la sigue chupando al miserable de Aznar o a todo aquello que represente una derecha descerebrada, nos dicen –hoy- que tres tipos de Guantánamo se suicidaron, cuando hace nada nos mostraban que los tenían agarrados de tal modo que eran incapaces de ver, oler, oír, sentir ni cagar sin ayuda. Y encima remata la rubia tarada del telediario: “se suicidan para protestar por las condiciones en que los tienen” Por el tono, yo deduje que se trababa de un montaje de estos tipos sólo para dar por culo a Estados Unidos un ratito. Venga, ahora me mato, y ya vas a ver como el Señor Bush se manda unas declaraciones a las seis de la tarde que nos dejan fríos. “Estoy preocupado por los suicidios” dijo Bush. Alguien se apuró y le dijo en voz bajita junto a la misma oreja por donde escuchó lo de las Torres: “fue en Guantánamo”. Sí, dijo Bush, estoy muy preocupado por los suicidios en Guantánamo. Aquí la rubia se apresuró también y aclaró: “Estados Unidos les brindó asistencia médica inmediata…” Está claro que la rubia no lee a Favelis, que se preguntaba ayer si no tienen pensado brindarles antes un poquito de asistencia legal…
Ustedes piensen un momento. Los tipos de la celda de al lado que están todavía con vida, están ahí, hoy. Ahora, porque esto está ocurriendo ahora. Acaban de torturar hasta la muerte a tres tipos delante de sus ojos y en las noticias europeas la rubia teñida avisa –entre los toquecitos de Villa y Raúl- que Estados Unidos se la pasa brindando asistencia médica.

Al insistir tanto por rescatar de las garras yankees a estos barbas -presuntos fundamentalistas- pensarán que yo soy amiguete del barba mayor, consagrado fundamentalista y declarado antisemita Don Bin Laden. Pues no. Y “no”, se dice fácil, pero les digo más:
Soy judío, lo es mi madre, mi padre, mis abuel@s y lo eran mis bisabuel@s. Estuve en Israel, en Estados Unidos y algunos países árabes. Sé de lo que hablo. Y lo diré. Yo prefiero morir hoy explotando en pedazos por la bomba que un enfermo detonó en su vientre, prefiero que me corten la cabeza ante las cámaras tres encapuchados con cerebro de telediario español, prefiero que me lleven en carretilla a una fosa común entre las rocas de Afganistán y salten sobre mis restos los tíos estos que se ensañan y siguen aunque ya estés muerto, antes que recibir asistencia médica inmediata de los Estados Unidos de América.

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