Para construir, primero hay que destruir! (The comeback)

madre_txt.jpg¿Se le siguen resistiendo esos edificios con inquilinos que se niegan a desalojar? ¿El alcalde de su pueblo es demasiado honrado o poco discreto? ¿Qué tiene que hacer un empresario con iniciativa para conseguir un poco de suelo urbanizable en este país?

Si fallaron el fuego y las plagas, ha llegado la hora de recurrir a métodos más drásticos. ¡No podemos permitir que cuatro inmovilistas frenen el progreso del país!

godzilla_txt.jpgMétodo tradicional japonés (Japón bajo el terror del monstruo)
Nunca hay que menospreciar el poder de la naturaleza desatada. Mientras en occidente seguimos recurriendo a la tecnología, los japoneses hace tiempo que descubrieron un método más pintoresco, pero igualmente efectivo para despejar el suelo urbanizable: lagartos gigantes prehistóricos.

Un lagarto gigante en una ciudad es como un elefante en una cacharrería, sólo con moverse por ella, ya la deja hecha unos zorros. Muchos además lanzan fuego por la boca o rayos destructores; y si les falta motivación, siempre se les pueden pegar unos cuantos cañonazos o, mejor todavía, se les puede buscar un congénere con el que pelearse.

El inconveniente es que la mayoría están durmiendo un sueño de siglos en las profundidades de la tierra. Además son algo durillos de oído, y suele ser necesaria una explosión nuclear para despertarlos. Por suerte, los franceses tienen archipiélagos repartidos por todo el mundo.

Método futurista (Independence day)
¡Estos extranjeros sí que se lo montan bien! Llegan a un planeta, lo arrasan, ¡y hala! ¡Ya pueden decorarlo a su gusto!

El secreto consiste en estar al quite, para conseguir las concesiones de obra después del destrozo. Reconstruir ciudades enteras al gusto de los nuevos amos del mundo, será un fructífero negocio para quien sepa estar bien relacionado. Y si no, que se lo digan a los muchachos de Enron.

Además, en la vida real, ni Will Smith ni el presidente de los Estados Unidos saben pilotar.

independence_day_txt.jpg

telefono_rojo_txt.jpgMétodo clásico (Teléfono rojo)
Por muchas innovaciones que se busquen, al final uno siempre acaba recurriendo a los clásicos. Y está más que demostrado que una buena guerra hace florecer la economía. Vean si no cómo les ha ido a los países perdedores en la 2ª Guerra Mundial. Alemania, que fue arrasada, se ha convertido en el motor de Europa, y Japón, desposeído de su ejercito, ha conquistado la economía mundial con su poderío tecnológico. Y en Suiza, tras siglos de mansa neutralidad, siguen orgullosos de su reloj de cuco.

El inconveniente de este método, es que dependes de los políticos, y ya se sabe lo volubles que son. Siempre corres el riesgo de que les dé un ataque de populismo, y piensen en sus votantes antes que en el progreso de la democracia y el bien de la humanidad.

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  1. Aaayyyy si los suizos hubieran abierto frente en Austria y Alemania ahora no estarían dedicados a la producción de chocolatinas y quesos… hoy día tal vez podrían estar expropiando terraplenes a los cabreros en Gaza, de forma violenta por supuesto.

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  3. El método clásico falla en España. Una guerra de las civiles, y todavía seguimos en las mismas.

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