Natascha se compró un Citroën

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Hace unos días el caso Natascha sacudió a la opinión pública. Tanto la sacudió que la dejó verdaderamente desordenada. Si no me creen, vean lo que ocurrió el 7 de septiembre en el periódico El País:

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El intríngulis se inicia en la mismísima portada del periódico. Superado el truculento titular, al pie del avance nos prometen que la información será ampliada en la página 11. Vamos allá.

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Aquí estamos. Página 11. Salvo que Natascha esté dentro del C4, no se le ve el pelo. Citroën se sale. Y Natascha se salió de página.

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Si la curiosidad o el azar nos llevan a mirar la página 10… ¡Aquí está Natascha! Bien, pasando por alto el desliz (un error lo comete cualquiera), podemos entrar en los pormenores del increíble caso. La información abunda, por eso nos dicen que sigamos leyendo en la página 61.

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Página 61. En los ocho años que permaneció secuestrada, Natascha se licenció en Economía y ahora escribe la página de finanzas para El País. Pero no nos cuenta nada sobre su caso, como nos prometían en la página 11, que resultó ser la 10. Tengamos paciencia. Busquemos un poco más.

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¡Oh, válgame! ¡Pero si la 61 se ha convertido en la 69! (dos errores en el mismo lugar… ¿los comete cualquiera?). Ahora sí hemos encontrado la salida del laberinto.Posibilidad 1: El País nos está mareando para que, con la excusa de la página equivocada, leamos todo el periódico.

Posibilidad 2: Ciertos anunciantes (léase fabricantes de coches y asesores financieros) manipulan la paginación para dirigir las tendencias de los lectores incautos.

Posibilidad 3: El 7 de septiembre faltó el maquetador y lo reemplazó un asistente analfabeto.

Posibilidad 4: El 7 de septiembre todo el personal de El País se encontraba alcoholizado.

Posibilidad 5: Priklopil no se suicidó y ahora se dedica a secuestrar noticias que consiguen huir y aparecen en cualquier página.

Queda en los amables lectores imaginar otras posibilidades. Hasta el próximo secuestro.

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