
Durante la reciente visita papal, muchos de ustedes habrán pensado: ¡Qué bien se lo monta este Benedicto! ¡Eso son viajes, y no los del Inserso! ¡Menudo chollo ha pillao con eso de ser Papa!
¡Arrepiéntanse, blasfemos! Llegar a Papa no es nada fácil, como prueba el impresionante documento descubierto por los investigadores de Irreverendos.
Tras la muerte de Juan Pablo II, la Iglesia, preocupada por una posible caída de su popularidad, contrató a profesionales de Hollywood para organizar el casting del nuevo Papa. Irreverendos les ofrece en exclusiva el dossier con los candidatos que más cerca estuvieron de conseguir el papel, con las anotaciones de pros y contras escritas por el cónclave vaticano, y una estampita de prueba para cada candidato.
Papa Gibson
pros:
- Creyente confeso
- Ha usado su posición para difundir las escrituras
- La barba le da un aspecto adecuadamente mesiánico
contras:
- Demasiado truculento
Papa Cruise
pros:
- Ama la vida y ama el amor
- Tiene el don de sanar a los enfermos
- Es HETEROSEXUAL
contras:
- Primero habría que desprogramarlo de la Cienciología
Papa Clooney
pros:
- Él y Dios van al mismo sastre
- Él y Dios conducen el mismo coche
- Lo más parecido a Dios sobre la tierra
contras:
- Tanta perfección resulta blasfema
Papa Bush
pros:
- Cita a Dios en una de cada dos frases
- Lucha contra el Imperio del Mal
contras:
- Lucha con excesivo entusiasmo
- Todavía no ha terminado Mi primer catecismo (dice que tiene muchas letras y pocos dibujos)
Papermán
pros:
- Su padre lo envió desde el cielo para salvarnos
- Viajes pastorales rápidos y económicos
contras:
- Sospechosa afición a los atuendos coloristas y ajustados
- Posible homer-sexual
Papácula
pros:
- Porte aristocrático y mirada magnética
- Procede de una familia de rancio abolengo
- Luchó contra los sarracenos
contras:
- Alérgico a las cruces
- Tiene la fea costumbre de relamerse cuando dice eso de: Esta es la sangre de Cristo…
Y en nuestra próxima entrega: ¡RECONTRAEXCLUSIVA! ¡Los candidatos españoles a Papa!

m.a. romero tú sí que sabes lo que valdría un peine!!! lo único terrible de tu chanza tan simpática y ajustada a derecho es lo que vimos todas las personas humanas aquel día aciago que salió el humo blanquito…
Cuando yo vi a ese peaso de Papa nuevo (el rachinger) con un jerseis debajo de la sotana en pleno mes de la calor yo dije:
“No veas la peste que debe soltar el viejo pellejo cuando se quite el toldo blanco que lleva por ensima…”
Aparte de esto, yo me identifico con lo de Yors Cruni, tanta perfección tiene dos alternativas:
a)_Yors cruni está como un queso
b)_ Hay quesos que llegan a estar como Yors.
Hay que ver que se te ha olvidao otro semidiós en persona y papable…Miguel Bosé que también es perfecto como dios… (Bueno, no tanto como Yors…)
Tom, heterosexual? JA!
Puestos a proponer más candidatos yo avisaría al casting a Papud Spencer… por su capacidad para repartir hostias.
Estoy ansioso por leer la próxima entrega Miguel Ángel.
Jejeje, muy bueno lo de Bud Spencer XD
Reconozco que Miguel Bosé tiene su aire divino, pero no es tan inalcanzable como Yors. Ese es el primer síntoma de la divinidad: que todos los mortales te deseen, pero ninguno pueda tenerte.
Lo de Papud Spencer no hubiera sido mala idea. Estuve a punto de incluir a cierto gobernador de California como Papineitor, pero hay que admitir que hostias como las de Papud, no las da nadie.
¿Cómo has logrado que todos los candidatos pusieran la misma posición de las manos para la foto?
He visto el coche de Clooney y lamento comunicar que el de Dios es dos modelos más viejo.
¿Es tan dificil respetar a los creyentes? No se por qué me tomo la molestia de mirar esta página. De mal en peor.
Brad Pit… él si que es divino. Ya puestos podrian llamar a Jesús Vazquez para que vaya por España.
Hola a todos.
Bueno les quiero decir qué hay un nuevo casting mio, y qué yo soy la conductora de este programa y del casting y de todo. Yo quiero qué pueda a ver chicos de mi programa, o sea me refiero a qué puedan entrar a mi programa. El nombre de mi programa es “My figurite is mi Poly´´ ese es el nombre del programa qué voy hacer yo, quiero qué actuen muchos chicos y chicas de 12 años hasta 28 años. O sea yo les voy a dar en este comentario un papelito para poder escribir sus datos y sus cosas qué tienen qué poner para poder quedar en el casting o sea en el programa de “My figurite is my Poly´´, después de comentario de aviso de casting les voy a dar por la computadora un papel donde los chicos y las chicas puedan escribir todos sus datos. Bueno suerte y chau.
Hola de nuevo a todos.
Bueno les digo de qué edad pueden ser los chicos y las chicas de mi programa, pueden ser de la edad de: 12 hasta 28. Esa es la edad de los chicos y de la edad de las chicas, bueno yo les doy su papelito y ustedes tienen qué anotar en sus casas en un papel grande todo lo qué dice ahí para qué después anoten sus datos al lado, bueno este es el papelito de qué tienen qué poner sus datos.
¿QUERÉS SALIR EN LA TELEVISIÓN Y TODAVÍA NO TE ANOTASTE EN UN CASTING? BUENO PONETE CONTENTA Y SALTÁ DE ALEGRÍA Y EMPEZA A ENSALLAR TODAS LAS COREOGRAFIAS DE LAS CANCIONES Y EMPEZA A PRACTICAR DE LO QUÉ TENÉS QUÉ DECIR ESE DÍA CUANDO ACTUÁS.
Nombre.
Apellido.
Edad.
DNI.
Teléfono.
Personaje.
Autorización de tus padres.
Documento.
Nombre de tus papás.
Y AHORA SI YA PODÉS PONER TUS DATOS.
MUCHA SUERTE Y TE DAMOS LA HOJITA DE ACTUAR EN LA TELEVISIÓN.
Pamela: Estoy re contenta de poder estár con mis amigas.
Daniela: Si hija mia todo siempre va hacer así.
Pamela: Gracias mamá te lo agradezco.
Daniela: De nada hija.
Pamela: Bueno mamá te quiero mucho.
Daniela: Yo también hija de la vida mia.
SUERTE Y FELICIDADES.
Hola a todos ustedes.
Bueno yo soy la del casting de My figurite is my Poly, les quería decir qué en algunos días de ésta semana de las vacaciones de invierno se harán una revisación de anuncios para este casting. Es decir qué se podrá decidir los datos de cada uno para poder fijarse si quedan algunas personas al casting, nos vemos bye.
“I haven’t seen you in these parts,” the barkeep said, sidling during to where I sat. “Personage’s Bao.” He stated it exuberantly, as if solemn word of honour of his exploits were shared by settlers around many a fire in Aeternum.
He waved to a unanimated hogshead beside us, and I returned his indication with a nod. He filled a glass and slid it to me across the stained red wood of the court first continuing.
“As a betting chains, I’d be assenting to wager a fair speck of coin you’re in Ebonscale Reach in search more than the drink and sights,” he said, eyes glancing from the sword sheathed on my in to the salaam slung across my back.
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“I haven’t seen you in these parts,” the barkeep said, sidling over and above to where I sat. “Name’s Bao.” He stated it exuberantly, as if low-down of his exploits were shared aside settlers about assorted a fire in Aeternum.
He waved to a wooden butt hard by us, and I returned his gesticulate with a nod. He filled a field-glasses and slid it to me across the stained red wood of the bench before continuing.
“As a betting fellow, I’d be ready to wager a honourable portion of coin you’re in Ebonscale Reach on the side of more than the swig and sights,” he said, eyes glancing from the sword sheathed on my cool to the salaam slung across my back.
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