Como escritor comprometido con la literatura de prestigio, Spam Laurel ha luchado durante toda su carrera por no ser leído por casi nadie. Y en el caso de ser leído, ha empeñado todo su talento en no ser entendido. Algunas de las obras más influyentes de la narrativa del siglo XX llevan su firma, entre ellas Potito satánico, Tierno verano de salmonelosis o Sé que no me amas pero termínate la sopa, coño.
Hoy es el más eminente autor de correo basura de todo el mundo y su nombre suena como firme candidato al Nobel de Literatura.
Ofrecemos una breve antología de sus mejores piezas, con la recomendación encarecida de que se abstengan de leerlas para así salvaguardar la reputación del escritor y no poner en peligro su candidatura.
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“Hi, my name is Sandy, I’ve seen your pic in MySpace and I think that you are real hot”, me escribiste aquella tarde en el cibercafé junto al Sena, pocos minutos antes de que yo te confesara que mi madre me seguía cortando las uñas de los pies cada semana para que no me quedasen picos de esos tan angustiosos que se enganchan en los calcetines de punto. Jamás olvidaré tu conmovedora respuesta: “Seré un robot informático con propósitos maliciosos, pero también tengo mi dignidad: métete la tarjeta de crédito en el culo, anda”.
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Spam laurel es un mágnifico autor:
No sé si conoceis su obra:
“Marsupiales neofitos en los cofines de los aledaños”,
simplemente genial.
hay otra obra de spam que merece ser recordada:
“De cuando me fui,pero luego volví a por la chaqueta, y luego me volví ir “
spam, escribió una segunda parte de su novela:
“Se me olvidaron los calcetines, ¿ no estaría pensando en los
marsupiales neófitos y por eso se me olvidaron ?
Fue una obra breve y a la par genial.
Lo último que he leido de Spam es “El señor de los anillos”,
Un increible texto sobre un hombre que tenía , por una malformación , varios anos pequeños.
Sólo se ha hecho una edición limitada y de lujo.
Spam merece el Nobel.
Lo último que he leido de Spam Laurel es :”¿Para que cojones
comprais esta mierda de novela ?”
Un título desafiante, por eso la compré.
No me defraudo.
Todas sus obras ganan en páginas a “Los hermanos Karamazov”
En previsión, también ha escrito su epitafio: más de quinientas lápidas de extensión.
Conocí la obra de Spam un domingo por casualidad.
Alguien había olvidado su libro en un banco del parque.
Lo ojee, cien paginas en blanco.
Un blanco impoluto, luminoso, virgen y limpio.
El titulo del libro lo decía todo:
“Los domingos no se escribe por descanso del personal ”
Spam es mi ídolo.
No se si conocerán las cartas inéditas que Spam se enviaba a si mismo, y que nunca las contesto.
Cuando me entrevisté con él, y le pregunté por este asunto me contesto:
“no suelo responder a gilipollas”.
Los escritos de Spam son de una poesía abrumadora.
Sobre todo los que conllevan doble lectura, esa que te chamusca el ordenata.
Lo más.
Soy un a escritora de exito gracias a Spam Laurel, mi amor de juventud.
Cuando le dije que quería dedicarme a escribir él me dijo:
¿ tú para qué coño vas a escribir ?
Tu pillas los textos de otros, los entrecomillas y le pones
nombre a tu novela. Luego dices que los textos los has “intercontextualizado “, que es un palabro muy chuli que me acabo de inventar, y te lo regalo.
Me enamoré de él en ese instante…
¡ vaya palabro !
Yo siempre estaba solo en casa y no leía una mierlda.
Pero cuando empezé a recibir correo basura de Spam,
por lo menos comenzé a leer mierda.
gracias, Spam laurel.
Amigos y amigas:
Hablemos también de la obra de cine de Spam Laurel,
por ejemplo su famoso corto:
“Qué corto se me ha hecho este corto, corto y cambio ”
que apenas duraba diez horas y media, o , sin ir más lejos:
” El quimérico Aquilino “, plagiado ferozmente por Roman Pollanssky
¿ que me decis de “Todo o casi todo de mi padre putativo ?”
y de ” Cojones lejanos ”
yd ” Mujeres al borde de un ataque de serbios ”
( esta es un poco porno )
Me interesa más su faceta en tv:
¿ Os acordais de su famoso programa infantil:
“Un globo ,dos globos , tres globos, y cuatro y los que hagan falta,
me va a ganar a mí la Gloria Fuertes esta…”
Spam escribió una hermosa poesía minimalista, titulada:
¡que punto !
.
¡ Spam es mi idolo!
me intersa más su obra:
,por favor
“I haven’t seen you in these parts,” the barkeep said, sidling during to where I sat. “Personage’s Bao.” He stated it exuberantly, as if low-down of his exploits were shared by settlers hither many a ‚lan in Aeternum.
He waved to a unimpassioned tun beside us, and I returned his token with a nod. He filled a field-glasses and slid it to me across the stained red wood of the court before continuing.
“As a betting houseman, I’d be willing to wager a above-board bit of invent you’re in Ebonscale Reach for more than the carouse and sights,” he said, eyes glancing from the sword sheathed on my cool to the capitulate slung across my back.
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