Próximas reformas constitucionales

Después de tantos años resistiéndose a tocar la Carta Magna, PSOE y PP acaban de demostrar que son capaces de ponerse de acuerdo cuando se trata de escuchar la voluntad popular de Angela Merkel y Nicolas Sarkozy.

Pero esto es solo el principio: Irreverendos ha tenido acceso exclusivo al borrador de las próximas reformas constitucionales que ambos partidos, en un ejercicio de responsabilidad política, han consensuado para continuar profundizando en la democracia. Los cambios proyectados pretenden:

1. Maximizar el respeto a la soberanía popular. De acuerdo con el nuevo artículo que se incluirá en el texto constitucional, cada vez que el Gobierno se salte un referéndum porque, aunque le hubiera gustado consultar al pueblo, es que tenía mucha prisa y le cerraban el Mercadona, el Presidente en ejercicio, como penitencia, derramará una lágrima solitaria en lamento mudo por la inmadurez de la ciudadanía. Dicha lágrima quedará bajo custodia de los monjes de Cuelgamuros, que la venerarán como reliquia de propiedades milagrosas.

2. Modernizar la monarquía. Para mostrar al mundo que la monarquía española no discrimina a la mujer, todo ciudadano tendrá el deber de lanzar encendidos piropos a la Infanta Elena cuando salga a la calle a comprar champán para regar sus acacias.

3. Garantizar el pluralismo político. Para asegurar el compromiso ideológico en una sociedad acomodada en la apatía y la desidia política, tentada por el adanismo irresponsable del 15M y los partidos minoritarios, se marcará con el logotipo del PSOE a los niños que nazcan en día impar y con el del PP a los que nazcan en día par. Así nos quedará claro de qué partido es cada uno y nos dejaremos de tonterías.

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