2001-2010: la búsqueda del ídolo de masas perfecto

Desvelaron el primer prototipo en 2000, en los estertores mortales del siglo XX:

Nuestros cerebros, torpes y quebradizos, todavía no estaban preparados para asimilar la perfección en estado puro. Por eso, el prototipo hacía como que cantaba.

En 2002, Ana Rosa impulsó el segundo prototipo:

Gracias al primer prototipo, ya estábamos maduros para deleitarnos con un ídolo de masas que no cantaba, no actuaba, no escribía, que ni siquiera seguía casada con un torero de rostro sospechosamente parecido al de Goofy.

Durante la década de 2010, el segundo prototipo ha reinado invicto, y nosotros hemos creído, patéticos mortales, que era el punto final de la evolución.

En realidad, solo es otro modelo transicional, creado para elevar nuestras conciencias al siguiente nivel.

Porque ellos han seguido trabajando en las sombras, y en los últimos días de 2010 han comenzado a testar en riguroso secreto el tercer prototipo, el definitivo.

No canta, no baila, no actúa, no escribe, no tiene hijos ni mata por ellos, no se casa y tampoco se divorcia.

Es, pura y simplemente, un cacho de carne.

Durante la fase de diseño se llegó a plantear la posibilidad de dotarle de ojos. Finalmente se ha prescindido de ellos: no los necesita para dejarse vapulear por los periodistas del corazón.

Las primeras pruebas han sido un éxito. Ellos lanzan sus reproches y acusaciones, sus burlas y sus comentarios de reinona envidiosa, y el cacho de carne permanece impasible: no se rebela, no contraataca, no dice nada. Ni siquiera escucha.

Ha comenzado una Nueva Era. Regocijémonos.

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