Nación Botellón

No somos una nación, somos un botellón. Es nuestra identidad, nuestro hecho diferencial, nuestra tradición desde el albor de los tiempos (como diría Ibarreche). Ya vienen desde todas partes hasta Granada para beber con nosotros y echar aquí la pota. Mestizaje intercultural. Solidaridad globalizada. Los nuevos turistas no visitarán la Alhambra pero sí el Covirán o el Dani, tan granadinos o más.

Mientras los profesionales del terror (médicos, psicólogos, sociólogos, psicosociólogos, periodistas, padres, madres e tutti quanti) se dedican a aterrorizarse y aterrorizarnos, las pobre víctimas exhiben su cubata ante la cámara y se jactan de la mierda que les importa todo lo que se está diciendo de ellos. Todo el país acojonado y ellos ahí soplando… ¡retransmitido en directo!

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- Interrumpimos la programación para conectar con la gran meada. ¡Atención compañeros! ¿Cuántos muertos llevamos?

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Ninguno, Margaret, hace un frío del copón y no ha venido nadie.

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¡OOOOHHHH! ¡Qué decepción! ¡Necesitamos un muerto, un coma etílico, una vomitona, lo que sea!

El show debe continuar, el show de la histeria, el del hedonismo y el de la basura. Así que bebed, malditos, bebed, algún día terminaréis la carrera y seréis padres, madres, concejales o, en el peor de los casos, ministros de sanidad. Entonces seguiréis vomitando, pero delante del televisor.

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