Irreverendos todos:
Hablar tanto y tan mal de los jóvenes es la mayor evidencia de que ya no se es joven. Cuando se habla de “los jóvenes”, no habla la honrada madre de familia, ni el sufrido amo de casa, ni el ejemplar jubilado, sino la cochina envidia de todos ellos. Ser irresponsable, molesto, vocinglero, impúdico, inconsciente…¡ay, quién pudiera!
Lo que molesta de los jóvenes no es que se diviertan, sino que se les note tanto. No está bien que alardeen de sus fogueos al aire libre, donde todo el mundo pueda verlos, para restregar al resto de los mortales que ellos ya no están en la edad de divertirse. Sus basuras, sus vomitonas, sus gritos pelados, sus cantigas corales, sus orines del fin de semana, no son más que su manera de marcar el territorio, como el perro que se mea siempre en el mismo árbol, vaya usted a saber por qué.
Y si los jóvenes han elegido para construir su hábitat una plazuela llena de vomitonas, orines y basuras varias, y si deciden volver a ella semana tras semana para entregarse a un aquelarre colectivo donde ni se pierde la consciencia (los jóvenes son inconscientes, y no se puede perder lo que no se tiene), ni se encuentra nada, ni siquiera al demonio (¿hay alguien más viejo que el demonio?), es que muy mal tiene que ver el resto del territorio del que creen salir mientras empapan en alcohol sus meninges.
Los jóvenes de hoy día tienen tanto de todo que no les sirve de nada: prefieren el fragor de un estercolero construido con el sudor de sus botellas a sus cómodos hogares repletos de mandos a distancia, tecnología punta y ropas de marca. A los jóvenes, está claro, no les gusta el estado del bienestar, y por eso se rebelan ante él y crean su propio estado: el del malestar general. Y debe ser por eso que vomitan, se orinan y chillan tanto. Porque tienen malestar.
Arcipreste Bonete, de la Hermandad Irreverenda de Wisconsin de Barrameda
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