El mundo se acaba dos o tres veces a la semana, según un estudio.

Chesterfield21.jpg(De nuestro corresponsal en Syracuse).- Ante la noticia de que el próximo fin del mundo se prevé para noviembre de este año, según la profecía del señor Crispín, IRREVERENDOS ha querido recabar la opinión del famoso profesor William Morris Chesterfield, físico jubilado de la Universidad de Strawberry Checkenberger (Oak City, Utah) y eterno aspirante al Premio Nobel. Je, je, je-fue su primera respuesta entre dientes-. Me parece, cuando menos, sorprendente anunciar como novedad el próximo fin del mundo, cuando mis investigaciones han demostrado que éste se acaba dos o tres veces por semana, y estas conclusiones las he publicado hace ya doce años. Ante nuestra perplejidad, y tras confesar nuestra ignorancia, el profesor Chesterfield accedió a explicarnos su teoría: Efectivamente, el Universo es altamente inestable a nivel subatómico, y cada poco tiempo todas sus partículas se disgregan, de modo que ahí se acaba todo, amigo mío; sin embargo, en micromilésimas de segundo las partículas se recomponen, y vuelven a dar nacimiento a otro Universo. Éste es el típico momento  en que se nos pierden unas gafas que sabíamos que teníamos en la cómoda, o que de pronto nos quedamos en blanco y no atinamos a seguir con lo que estábamos diciendo: ¡es que el Universo ya es distinto, y se delata en pequeños detalles que varían por completo! Se ha dado, incluso, el caso de personas que han desaparecido del mapa en uno de estos Cambios de Realidad, como ocurrió con mi querida esposa Florence en un lejano verano de 1967…. Chesterfield11.jpg

Al parecer, éste fue el suceso que movió al profesor a desarrollar su teoría, sumado al disgusto cotidiano de perder sus gafas o quedarse alelado en clase. Además, fue determinante darme cuenta de que tengo una capacidad especial para detectar con unas horas de antelación estos fenómenos “apocalípticos-genesíacos”: cada vez que se van a producir, se me enmohecen las articulaciones de una forma muy desagradable. Cuando esto ocurre, me digo: “Billy, prepárate y agarra bien las gafas”. Chesterfield, desde el pequeño laboratorio cedido por la Universidad en un pequeño cuartillo de la limpieza, donde, aun jubilado, sigue entregado a la investigación, es franco con este corresponsal y duda de la predicción que suscribe IRREVERENDOS: Ignoro qué cálculos matemáticos ha podido realizar Mr. Crispis, o si es posible que posea una percepción articular como la mía, aunque me resulta increíble que pueda aplicarse tan a largo plazo y con esa precisión

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