Sermón ahumado: ¡Bodas, bautizos y congestiones!

HrundiVBakshi.jpgNo se nos ocurre cosa peor que cumplir un año. Así, con tan dudoso sentido del civismo, vamos sumando meses hasta juntar una docena. Y es una vergüenza.

Porque ahora hay que celebrarlo.

Y hay que llamar a la prima Lourdes, y al tío Chechu, el que se saca la dentadura postiza y te la mete en la cerveza cuando le entran ganas de desmelenarse y demostrar que pese al barrigón y la calva aceitosa tiene el corazón de un chiquillo.

Y hablando de chiquillo… los niños, acuérdate de los niños de tu hermana, que se enganchan en las aceitunas y cuando vas a echarles mano te encuentras con un huesecillo rechupeteado en el que no quedan más que unos pocos restos espumosos de pulpa roída…

Y los regalos, no hablemos de los regalos, retratos de santos siniestros comprados en un todoauneuro, figuras de payasitos de porcelana fabricados en Filipinas que transmiten, en su sonrisa demoníaca, el mal rollo que sólo puede desprender un producto fabricado por mano de obra infantil en condiciones de esclavitud fáctica.

No obstante, hay que celebrarlo. Un año. Doce meses. Empezamos hablando del Fin del Mundo, pero ahora vamos a atrevernos a mirar al horror cara a cara. La fiesta, esa ceremonia de la angustia. ¿Qué es? ¿Cómo se hace? ¿Es posible conservar la cordura en un banquete de primera comunión?

¡Ya llega! ¡Ya está ahí! ¡Es la prima Lourdes! Y… dios misericordioso… ¡trae al plasta de su novio!

¿No es enternecedor? Ya lo dijo la poetisa: aires de fiesta, los chicos y chicas… radiantes de felicidad…

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