CONSUMO GLOBALIZADO
Consumidores del mundo, ¡uníos! Y al tiempo que os lanzáis como posesos a comprar lo que se os ponga por delante con la excusa de las fiestas por venir, estudiad los productos que adquirís. En el mundo actual, que ya no tiene fronteras (aunque sólo para las operaciones de compraventa, me temo) todos los idiomas devienen uno solo. La vieja ilusión del esperanto al fin se hace realidad. Para el comprador inquieto, las etiquetas y anuncios de las más diversas mercancías pueden equivaler a un parque de diversiones. Y si no, contemplad lo que sigue.
Fratelli d’Italia
En su afán de agradar al coterráneo de Petrarca, este restaurante granadino ofrece varios tipos de pizza. A ver… ¿qué tendrá ésta llamada “funchi”? ¡Ah! champiñones, o sea, hongos, o en italiano, “FUNGHI”. Bueno, mejor elijo otra. ¿Y esa tal “proscuito”? ¡Ah, jamón!, pero… ¿en italiano no es “PROSCIUTO”? . Bueno, si al menos la PICSA es sabrosa… que APROVECCE.
FUENTE: Carta de un restaurante a orillas del Genil.
No fundo do meu coração
Todos sabemos que España y Portugal son como hermanos. Especialmente a los ojos de otros europeos tan distantes como los daneses, para quienes “fondo” y “fundo” son exactamente lo mismo. Iberia y Lusitania, un solo coração.
FUENTE: Lata de galletas danesas.
Cumplepelos feliz
Según nos informa el texto en inglés, el cortapelos que viene en este envase tiene una garantía de tres años… de edad. Luego el fabricante nos advierte (ver recuadro anaranjado): no olvide lubricar el aparato: tiene una larga vida. Si el visitante desea saber qué intentaba decir el eximio traductor, sírvase leer el anverso de la caja, que viene en español. El manual de instrucciones lo dejamos para otro día. Happy “Hairbirthday”.
FUENTE: Embalaje de cortapelos “Comelec”.
Póntelo, pónselo it
Hablar inglés ahora sí es sencillo. Si no, vean este envase de preservativos, que enseña las equivalencias entre varios términos españoles e ingleses. Por ejemplo: el español NATURAL, equivale al inglés NATURAL. El inglés SENSITIVE, en español es… SENSITIVE (para sorpresa de los miembros de la Real Academia, que siempre están desactualizados). También nos enteramos de que entre los ascéticos angloparlantes la palabra ESTIMULANTE no existe. ¡Viva la sangre latina!
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