¡Sí, amigos, aunque no os lo creáis, todavía hay gente a la que no le gustan los coches! ¡Fanáticos insensibles, incapaces de estremecerse ante la belleza de una carrocería recién salida del túnel de lavado o de llorar de emoción ante un adelantamiento en línea continua! Para todos ellos, Irreverendos les desmonta sus falsos mitos y teorías antiautomóvil…
1. El coche no es buen modo de viajar, y menos en vacaciones
¡Falso! ¿Qué quieren, que viajemos en burra o en camello, a estas alturas? ¡Qué mejor modo de conocerse a sí mismo que un buen atasco camino de la playa! Y si no te gustan los atascos el día que te vas de vacaciones, sólo hay que seguir los consejos del telediario y escalonar las salidas…
2. El coche contamina
¡Pues claro, claro que contamina! ¿Y qué? ¿Qué va a pasar por un poquito de humo? ¡Si todo eso se lo lleva el aire para otro sitio, hombre! Y la mierda de caballo en tiempos de tu abuelo, ¿no contaminaba las calles, o qué? ¡Haced la prueba, a ver qué huele peor!
3. Hay que abandonar el coche y usar el transporte público
Ja. Eso de recomendar el transporte público siempre lo dice alguien que va en coche oficial, y con chófer…Porque, vamos a ver, si el transporte público fuera tan bueno, los autobuses irían repletos de millonarios, duquesas, promotores y alcaldes, y no es el caso. ¡Mientras el metro o el autobús no pase por la puerta de tu cochera, haga una parada en el colegio de tus niños, atraviese hasta la otra punta de la ciudad para llevarte al trabajo, te espere al acabar la jornada, recoja a los niños del colegio, y de paso se pare un momento en el supermercado y se espere hasta que compres el pan antes de volverte a tu casa, resístete! Y si quieres llegar a tiempo y esquivar los atascos, siempre tienes la opción de combinar el transporte privado y el público…
4. La gasolina es cara
La gasolina es cara si vas a bebértela como aperitivo, pero…¿te parece cara la gasolina, para mover ese pedazo de vehículo nuevo con motor de suprainyección, 500 válvulas, 2000 caballos, DVD portátil, cargador de 20 CDS, aire acondicionado con olor a brisa marina, GPS panorámico y airbags para cuatro viajeros y los veinte dedos del conductor? ¡Prueba a mover todo eso con una botella de agua con gas, que está muy baratita y de oferta, a ver si puedes!
5. Los coches destrozan las ciudades
Ya son ganas de quejarse…¡gracias al coche, el país se moderniza, se llena de túneles, autovías, aparcamientos subterráneos, pasos a nivel, puentes, circunvalaciones y obras millonarias! ¡Gracias al automóvil, nuestras ciudades abandonan su rancia y anticuada presencia y ofrecen al turista y al visitante amigo una nueva imagen, moderna, dinámica y emprendedora!
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