El canon perfecto

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Nuestro Manual de Historia del Arte descubre hoy los planes definitivos para establecer, ¡por fin! un nuevo y definitivo canon que regulará armónicamente las relaciones de proporcionalidad y belleza entre las creaciones artísticas y la Humanidad Nacional. Los artistas del pasado perdieron el tiempo ingenuamente intentando establecer proporciones y armonías entre las partes del modelo artístico: que si siete cabezas y pico por allí, que si un círculo con el ombligo en el centro por allá, que si ocho módulos por acullá…¡paparruchas! Han tenido que llegar los que saben de esto, es decir, los ejecutivos y los políticos de turno, para echar por tierra tanta gilipollez.

Estos son algunos torpes ejemplos de la Antigüedad más rancia que demuestra que ni egipcios ni griegos tenían ni idea de lo que era un canon ni de cómo sacarle partido:

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Más tarde, a un tal Leonardo se le ocurró pintar este dibujo tan chulo para vender camisetas y pósters en los museos de medio mundo…¡y el muy tonto se murió sin pillar un euro a cambio, ni para él ni para su familia Da Vinci!

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Pero finalmente, ¡aquí está: el canon definitivo! ¡El canon que llega a todas partes, a todos los hogares y rincones! ¡El canon ideal y universal del que nadie escapará! ¡Helo aquí, el canon soñado por la SGAE y sus amigos!

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