Para construir, primero hay que destruir (I)

En estos tiempos que corren, cuando está bien claro que el motor de la economía española es la construcción, cabría pensar que un honrado constructor tendría vía libre para comprar terrenos y edificar allá donde le apeteciera, ¿verdad?

martinezsoria.jpg¡En absoluto! Enormes extensiones de suelo no urbanizable, parques naturales protegidos, inquilinos que siguen pagando alquileres de tiempos de Franco e insisten en no morirse… Todo se conjura contra el pobre empresario de la construcción, que hasta ahora se veía obligado a depender de los políticos, con los riesgos que eso conlleva. Véase si no el caso Marbella; ¡es que hay gente que no sabe ser rica!

Por suerte, esa dependencia se va a acabar. ¿Por qué mendigar recalificaciones, cuando ya hay tanto suelo calificado como urbanizable? ¿Qué se interpone entre nosotros y ese suelo? ¿Los edificios que ya hay construidos en él? ¿Sus inquilinos? ¡Minucias! El cine nos enseña cómo deshacernos de ambos.

coloso.jpgMétodo Windsor (El coloso en llamas)
Empecemos por el principio: una vez construido el edificio y hecho el negocio, ¿por qué dejar en pie un montón de ladrillos que ya ha cumplido su función? ¡Es a todas luces improductivo!

Un incendio a tiempo, son euros en el banco. Y para evitar secuelas desagrables, lo mejor es no mancharnos las manos recurriendo a cerillas, gasolina u otros métodos burdos. Contratemos a ingenieros ineptos, y dejemos que la naturaleza siga su curso…

colosoreparto.jpg

Método Moisés (Los diez mandamientos)
Pero si ya se nos han colado inquilinos en el edificio, es recomendable recurrir a métodos más sutiles.

moises.jpgYa nos lo enseña el buen Dios: no hay como una buena plaga para diezmar a una población o echar a unos inquilinos recalcitrantes. Hasta que los científicos descubran un método fiable para desencadenar una lluvia de fuego y azufre en la manzana que más nos convenga, tendremos que recurrir a una buena plaga de ratas o cualquier otro bicho igualmente repugnante.

Aunque hay que tener cuidado de no pasarse, no vaya a ser que muerdan a un niño, y la noticia llegue a oidos de un periodista. Esos carroñeros desalmados no tendrían reparo en airearla, sin importarles que nuestra propiedad coja mala fama y pierda valor.

Si con estas técnicas no consiguen echar a Don Erre Que Erre, no se preocupen. En nuestra próxima entrega recurriremos a métodos aun más infalibles.

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