Gente rara (notas autobiográficas)

He conocido a gente rara durante toda mi vida.

Conocí a un señor que era capaz de cantarte canciones de Machín a base de pedos.
Y sus pedos no olían (él lo achacaba a que cantaba “las gardenias”, que huelen muy bien).

Conocí a un poeta que sólo escribía en servilletas de los bares.
A veces te las regalaba, y otras se las guardaba en el bolsillo
porque andaba constipado.

El arte es efímero.

Conocí a un pintor que siempre quería suicidarse
Y lo anunciaba en sus cuadros: “¡Voy a suicidarme!”,  junto a su firma.
Y cuando tú le preguntabas si eso iba en serio
él te decía: – “sí,  pero espérate al siguiente cuadro
que será aun más malo y  así  podré suicidarme más tranquilo”.

Conocí a un camarero que canturreaba tan mal que hizo clientela y una fortuna.
La gente se apostaba en el desayuno qué diablos andaba
tarareando.
Y él me confesó un buen día que tarareaba el ruido que hacía la cafetera.

Raro era también un lotero ciego de la ONCE que gritaba:
“¡¡¡Nunca  toca , nunca toca, nunca toca!!!
Y si toca vosotros seréis los ciegos,
porque a mí no me veréis”.
Y, coño, le tocó. ¡Será mamón! Y ni rastro del ciego…

AS

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36 Responses

  1. Marihuano dice:

    Coño Andrés, muy bueno. Se ve que esta vez has pillado un hachís bueno!

    Japi Verdei. Mucho verde, mucho verde y serás happy!

  2. jejejejeje la del camarero, es genial.

  3. Amkiel dice:

    De gente rara estamos el mundo lleno.

  4. as dice:

    muchas gracias, pero quiero que sepáis que esta gente existe, es real.
    Pedro es el cantautor de los pedos, don Luis el “poeta de la servilleta”,
    el pintor lo conocí en bellas artes, el camarero es Rafael y el ciego vive tambien en mi barrio.
    Felices fiestas a todos.

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