Los franceses lo han confirmado por fin: ¡es verdad! ¡ETA les ha robado 350 pistolas! Bueno, ¿y qué? ¡Total, qué van a hacer ellos, unos pobres terroristas en alto el fuego indefinido y en busca incansable de la negociación, la paz y el diálogo, con 350 pistolas! ¡Ya hay que ser malpensados!
Sabemos que los mozuelos de ETA ahora son buenos chicos y sólo se dedican a juguetear por las calles. ¿Entonces, para qué las pistolas?, se preguntan algunos que sólo saben preguntar. Irreverendos ha tenido acceso a los informes confidenciales de los servicios secretos españoles, informes que obran ya en poder del presidente Zapatero, y que explicarían perfectamente algunos de los posibles destinos de las pistolas de marras:
HIPÓTESIS A: Curarse el mono
Los pobres echan de menos el olor de la pólvora y se van a un polvorín para quitarse el mono.
HIPÓTESIS B: Espíritu navideño
Ahora que se acercan las fechas navideñas, y ahora que los terroristas buscan la paz, tendrán que celebrar la nochebuena como todo hijo de vecino. ¿Y qué mejor que una pistolita como simpático regalo de empresa entre los trabajadores de la causa, o como juguete dejado por Papa Noel para los pequeños cachorrillos euskaldunes?
HIPÓTESIS C: Fiestas populares
Ya sabemos lo apegados a sus tradiciones que son estos chicos. Les gusta celebrar las fiestas de su pueblo. Y este año han pensado montar casetas de tiro con pistolicas en todas las verbenas de Euskadi.
HIPÓTESIS D: Operación Roca
Los etarras, impresionados por el talento financiero del señor Roca, el genio de la corrupción marbellí, quieren colaborar en su reinserción social. Para convencerlo irán a visitarlo a Alhaurín y lo obsequiarán con unas pistolillas para que se monte su propio ejército, que es lo único que, al parecer, todavía no tiene.
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