Sermón Ahumado 1

Irreverendos todos:El mundo se acaba exactamente el 13 de noviembre de 2006, a las 12 y media de la mañana. Nos lo ha revelado, como quien no quiere la cosa, un hombre bajito y con bigote que acaba de pasar por aquí; se llama Crispín, y no tenemos razón alguna para dudar de su palabra. Entre otras cosas, porque algo más sabrá este hombre de nuestro futuro cercano que unos viejos carcamales como Nostradamus o San Malaquías, que además seguramente ni eran bajitos ni tenían bigote. Llamarse “Nostradamus” o “Malaquías” y pasarse siglos acojonando al mundo entero no tiene mérito alguno. Con esos nombres, y soltando latinajos sobre el Anticristo y el Apocalipsis, a ver quién no se acojona. Pero claro, si te llamas Crispín, hablas en un castellano correcto y mesurado, y anuncias con tranquilidad el fin del mundo para dentro de un rato, nadie te toma en serio. Nos queda, pues, un año para arreglar el mundo antes de que desaparezca. Hay tiempo de sobra. La Comunidad Irreverenda ya ha puesto a trabajar a varios de sus fieles para darle un repasillo a todos los problemas de la humanidad entera: un par de albañiles, dos fontaneros, un poeta nefasto y un ama de casa. Desapareceremos, sí, pero con dignidad y pulcritud. No es cuestión de irse para siempre dejándolo todo hecho unos zorros. Para conocer todos los detalles de este fin del mundo que se avecina, nada mejor que leerse el Irreverendos de este mes.

Abordamos el tema a nuestra manera, con la profundidad distintiva del pensamiento irreverendo, es decir, con ninguna. El mundo se acabará de cualquier manera, pero los Irreverendos ofrecemos los secretos para acabarlo con sosiego y sin achuchones,

con la sonrisa puesta y los zapatos quitados. Hay que recibir el Apocalipsis como se merece, es decir, tocando la trompeta y montado a caballo, si no hay nada mejor en lo que montarse. Y sabiendo que aunque el mundo se acaba vendrán tiempos mejores. O no vendrán, en cuyo caso tampoco serán peores. Y si el 14 de noviembre de 2006 todavía podemos mirarnos al espejo sin asustarnos más que de costumbre, será que ya no puedes fiarte de nadie: ni siquiera de los tipos bajitos y con bigote y que se llaman Crispín.

Arcipreste Bonete Hermandad Irreverenda de Wisconsin de Barrameda

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405 Responses

  1. Arkangel dice:

    ¡Esos jinetes guapos del apocalipsis! Jajajaja XD

  2. jajaja, ¿vale montarse en el dolar?

  3. Joe Rígoli dice:

    Enrique, vamos a por tí.Te vamos a romper las piernas.Ya sabemos que tras tu apacible pinta se esconde un truhán.
    Lo del chiste del niño maltratador te va costar caro.
    Nos te aconsejamos que congeles algo de tu debilucho esperma, por si quieres tener aún más descendencia en el futuro.Cualquier día te vas a despertar con tus güevos metíos en un bote de formol, en tu mesilla de noche.
    Esto no es una amenaza,esto es LA VERDAD.
    por cierto, lo del fin del mundo es verdad??

  4. Joe Rígoli dice:

    me cago en mis muelas!!Ahora resulta que tu no eres Enrique sino Salva Bonet.Imagino que seréis hermanos…
    Bueno, pues a ti ya no se si castrarte o no…Bueno según te portes, estaré atento a irreverendos y ya veremos.
    Estoy jodido, acaba de salirme en el sobaco un forúnculo con la mismísima cara de Jiménez loSantos.Al principio no me preocupaba pero es que empieza a supurar bilis fétida.
    Algún remedio de la botica de la agüela??

  5. gustavin dice:

    QUIERO APUNTARME A LA HERMANDAD
    ¿HAY QUE PAGAR?
    SI HAY QUE IR SE VA , PERO…
    HAY QUE PAGAR?

  6. Arcipreste Bonete dice:

    ¡Amenazas a mí! ¡Asustaviejas, que eso es lo que eres, Joe Rígoli! ¡Ya te pillaré yo bajando la Cuesta La Cava!!

  7. frapuci dice:

    por OZELUI, macabodenterar,y lo primero felicitarte por la originalidad y buenasencilla presentación que me hace disfrutar un buen rato de los talentos que vas convocando y descubriendo de modo tan “VISTOSO”.
    “”
    _ ¿ Por qué los gallos no tienen manos?
    _ Porque las gallinas no tienen tetas.
    “”
    ! por el ingenio y
    los creativos de sonRISAS.!
    Un abrazo extensivo al equipo.

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