¡Sí, amigos! ¡El Apocalipsis se avecina! Pero eso no tiene por qué significar el fin del mundo. Un meteorito acabó con los dinosaurios, pero todavía tenemos algunos de sus primos con nosotros. La Atlántida se hundió de la noche a la mañana, pero alguien quedó para contarlo. Y Hitler cayó con su 3er Reich, pero muchos de sus colaboradores lograron escabullirse, y hoy son miembros productivos de nuestra sociedad. La vida siempre sigue adelante. Por cada diluvio universal, siempre hay algún Noé espabilado, y ese puede ser usted. Si un meteorito gigante se dirige a la tierra, hierven los océanos, o Bush Jr. sale elegido Papa, el cine nos ofrece algunas pistas sobre cómo actuar…
Cómo sobrellevar el Apocalipsis:
¿Que un enorme meteoro amenaza con acabar con toda vida en la tierra? Esta entrañable antigualla nos da la solución: construyamos un cohete espacial, y huyamos a un planeta habitable. Por desgracia, estos cohetes no suelen tener muchas plazas, así que si no es usted científico espacial o pariente cercano, le recomendamos que le vaya tirando los tejos a alguno, por si las moscas…
¿Que una guerra nuclear ha convertido el mundo en un inmenso desierto, donde el combustible y el agua son bienes preciados? Usted póngase a buscar, que seguro que hay en alguna parte una tierra prometida; un valle de verdes laderas al que llevar a un grupo de niños perdidos que continúen la especie, y le cuenten a sus nietos la historia del valiente desconocido que los salvó.
¿Y si se libera un virus experimental capaz de acabar con la raza humana en unos meses? Bueno, siempre tenemos la opción meter a los no infectados en refugios subterráneos convenientemente aislados, hasta que se encuentre una cura. Además, podemos aprovechar para fundar una nueva sociedad en nuestros refugios, más feliz e igualitaria, donde todos sonrían y se presenten voluntarios para los experimentos.
Esta opción es la recomendada para invasiones extraterrestres. Por muy temibles que parezcan o muy avanzada que sea su tecnología, siempre son vulnerables a la tontería más insospechada. Ya ocurría en el clásico La guerra de los mundos (a punto de ser revisado por Spielberg), y poco ha cambiado en la reciente Señales. Es lo que tiene ir al extranjero: si no es por la comida, es por el agua; pero siempre pillas algo.
Bueno, ¿y para qué tanto esperar con el alma en un hilo si viene o no el fin del mundo? ¡Que llegue de una vez y a otra cosa! Usted puede desencadenar su propio Apocalipsis, aunque para lograrlo tenga que hacer amistades un poco raras. Con suerte, usted será el único superviviente, y tendrá por fin un rato tranquilo para leer los resultados de la quiniela.
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