Irreverendos todos:
Es mentira. Las vacaciones no existen. Las vacaciones son un timo monumental, un espejismo, una especie de reality show adulterado en el que concursamos con frenesí, aunque sepamos que al final nunca nos llevaremos el premio deseado: el premio de unas vacaciones eternas, el premio de darle un portazo definitivo al baboso de tu jefe, el premio de no tener que volver a un sitio que no te gusta. El premio que otros, los que nunca tienen vacaciones porque viven como si estuvieran siempre de veraneo, tienen de por vida.
Tú necesitas las vacaciones, pero ten por seguro que tus superiores las necesitan más que tú: te dan vacaciones para que “cargues las pilas” -o sea, para que vuelvas con más ganas de trabajar- o para “que desconectes” -es decir: para que te olvides de todas las putadas que te han hecho en el año y vuelvas con los dientes menos afilados-.
Por más que nos empeñemos en convertir nuestras vacaciones en el paraíso de la inactividad y la vagancia supina, nadie deja de trabajar ni de producir ni de ser útil a la sociedad durante un mes. Te dan vacaciones para que seas todavía más útil y productivo: para que te gastes el dinero en sitios donde nunca te lo gastarías durante el año, para que compres lo que nunca comprarías en el año, para que inviertas en un apartamento en la costa o un chalete en la sierra y, sobre todo, para que le eches más gasolina a tu coche. Por eso decimos los irreverendos que las vacaciones no existen: sólo te envían a otro sitio para que hagas tu trabajo de otra manera. Y por eso nosotros bajaremos el ritmo, pero no cerraremos por vacaciones.
De todas formas, estéis donde estéis, Irreverendos del mundo entero…¡felices e irreverendas vacaciones!
Ilustración de Malagón
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