Con la verdad por delante

Yo tenía un amigo que me decía: “Yo siempre voy con la verdad por delante”.

Su suegra le invitó a comer paella el domingo.
Una paella asquerosa, repugnante, una paella que había que comerla con espátula.

Aquello no era ni paella, ni pa nadie.

- ¿Qué tal está la paella, hijo?

- Nunca he probado nada igual –contestó, mientras tragaba aquella mezcla inmunda de cemento con lagrimones.

-¿Ves qué fácil es decir la verdad y no herir los sentimientos? –me decía, después de contarme la historia de la paella-. ¡Porque como aquella cosa horrible, no he probado otra en mi vida!

Otro día su mujer le preguntó:

-¡Creo que estoy más gorda! ¿No me ves tú más gorda? ¡¡Joder, es que no me entra nada!!

Mi amigo se quitó las gafas discretamente, haciéndose el interesante, y como sin gafas no veía un carajo, le respondió:
- Francamente, no te veo… Gorda.

El otro día le pregunté por su trabajo, que cómo le iba…
- Muy bien –me dijo- . ¡Mi trabajo me ha encauzado a descubrir nuevos horizontes!

Sospecho que con su teoría de la verdad por delante….lo que lo han mandado es ...a tomar por culo.

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