El exdirector general de CaixaNova y excopresidente de NovaCaixaGalicia, Julio Fernández Gayoso, afirmó: “Yo no tenía poderes en el consejo de administración y por tanto no he tomado ni una sola decisión porque no podía”. Después explicó que el cuantioso salario que percibía se le pagaba por la minuciosa labor de contabilizar todos y cada uno de los pliegues de su escroto, destreza en la que Fernández Gayoso es reconocido campeón internacional, como ha demostrado palpando los sacos testiculares de la ciudadanía en pleno.
El expresidente de Bankia, Rodrigo Rato, aclaró que el Gobierno y el Banco de España le dijeron que se fusionase con Bancaja. Preguntado por los parlamentarios que si, en caso de que el Gobierno y el Banco de España le hubieran dicho que se tirara por un barranco, él también se hubiese tirado, Rato reveló que le presionaron cruelmente llamándole cagueta, y que es que si no les hacía caso no le dejaban jugar al churri churri.
El expresidente de Caixa Catalunya, Narcís Serra, sentenció que “la fusión de las cajas catalanas fue modélica” y añadió, orgulloso, que quien desee provocar una catástrofe financiera ya tiene un modelo perfecto que copiar.
Tras su comparecencia, los periodistas preguntaron a Elena Salgado qué cambiaría de su gestión en el Gobierno. La exministra de economía respondió: “Me cambiaría a mí misma”. Y luego se rió, pero diversas fuentes del Congreso apuntan que no rió sola: se sospecha que sus jefes de Endesa, que la ficharon apenas tres meses después de salir del Gobierno, también rieron. Los mejores periodistas de investigación del país todavía trabajan para descubrir de qué o de quién se reían.
Por último, el fantasma de María Antonieta ha manifestado su perplejidad por la que le liaron a ella solo por un chistecito de nada sobre unos pasteles.
Todos los comparecientes han negado cualquier responsabilidad ejecutiva y han coincidido en señalar que José Miguel Gutiérrez Tocino, propietario de un quiosco de frutos secos y prensa selecta en Almendralejo, e internacionalmente conocido por ser la única persona en el mundo que se lee las páginas salmón, no les advirtió de los peligros que implicaba la fusión de las cajas, y han recomendado encarecidamente que se depuren las responsabilidades pertinentes caiga quien caiga, porque aquí lo primero es hacer justicia y restaurar la confianza de los ciudadanos en las instituciones.
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