Torturas de verano

VALDEMORILLOS DE ABAJO: Abuela torturada.

Anastasia Clamores, una pobre anciana abandonada por sus hijos, es sometida por sus nietos (a su vez, abandonados por sus padres) a una insoportable sesión continua de DISNEY CHANNEL desde el pasado 24 de junio.
Graves secuelas: La anciana ha perdido un el poco entendimiento que le quedaba y, lo que es peor, se quedó sin ver la continuación de YO SOY BEA.

Firma aquí para pedir la liberación de Anastasia

COSTA BRAVA: Grave caso de explotación sexual

Filiberto Caimán, reputado autoestopista y follarín de prestigio internacional, fue recogido el 5 de julio en la comarcal C567890, camino de la Costa Brava, por un autocar de funcionarias jubiladas de la Universidad Laboral de Tomelloso en viaje de estudios.

Desde entonces Filiberto permanece retenido contra su voluntad, obligado a demostrar noche tras noche sus habilidades varoniles y lo que es capaz de hacer con la parte más empinada de su cuerpo (y no, no es la nariz).

Como consecuencia, Filiberto ha perdido toda su reputación y,  lo que es peor, ha perdido las ganas para siempre.

Firma aquí para pedir la liberación de Filiberto

CALICALUNDIA: Estremecedor testimonio de violencia étnica

Remigio Calimocho, hombre de chiringuito, ha sido obligado a realizar un circuito turístico por los Tesoros Escondidos de la Baja Calicalundia. El circuito, que le tocó como obsequio tras la compra de su flamante 4×4, incluye insufribles conciertos de música nativa, aberrantes visitas guiadas a museos de arte primitivo, agotadoras caminatas por los senderos misteriosos de la Calicalundia oculta, y horripilantes degustaciones de la gastronomía aborigen.

Graves consecuencias: Remigio ha perdido su sitio en el chiringuito y se ha quedado sin conocer el resultado de la porra de la final de la Supercopa de fútbol.

Firma aquí para pedir la liberación de Remigio

(Los retratos de los torturados son obra y gracia del irreverendo honorífico Miguel Ángel Parra)

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