¿Está usted preparado para la Navidad?
Descúbralo con nuestro…
(Aprobado por Santa Claus y esos tres tíos de los camellos que no salen en las pelis americanas)
Escoja la respuesta que mejor represente su forma de pensar:
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Cuando veo la iluminación navideña en las calles…
(a) …pienso en el derroche de energía, y en cómo afecta al calentamiento global del planeta.
(b) …me pregunto por qué no la dejarán todo el año, con lo que alegra la ciudad.
Cuando oigo villancicos…
(a) …me dan ganas de romper una zambomba en la cabeza de alguien.
(b) …su melodía acaricia mis oídos y resuena en mi corazón.
Cuando veo las caritas sonrientes de los niños…
(b) …entiendo mejor a Herodes.
(a) …desearía tener regalos para todos.
Santa Claus es…
(a) …un invento de las multinacionales para que consumamos; lo mismo que San Valentín, el Yeti o los esquimales.
(b) …mi identidad secreta. El resto del año soy un tímido oficinista, pero cada 24 de Diciembre me crece una gran barba blanca y empiezo a decir “¡how, how, how!” descontroladamente.
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Veredicto:
Mayoría de respuestas (a)
¡Malas noticias! Sufre usted lo que la ciencia ha denominado Síndrome de Ebenezer Scrooge.
Es usted un cínico sin redención posible; odia la alegría, las risas infantiles le dan urticaria y las flores se secan a su paso. Refúgiese en su cubil insonorizado hasta que pasen estas fechas, y consuélese planeando su venganza contra la humanidad (¿El regreso de Georgie Dann? ¿Más programas con Jordi González? Las posibilidades son infinitas…)
Un consejo: Si un empleado suyo le pide la Nochebuena libre para estar con su hijito enfermo, désela. Si no, el Fantasma de las Navidades Pasadas vendrá para martirizarle con las fotos más vergonzosas de su álbum familiar. Como aquella de los setenta, en que sale usted con camisa de lunares, pantalones pata de elefante y zapatos de plataforma.
Mayoría de respuestas (b)
¡Peores noticias! Sufre usted lo que la ciencia ha denominado Síndrome de George Bailey.
Usted rebosa espíritu navideño; es tan dulce, que su mera presencia debería estar prohibida a los diabéticos. Los niños crujen cuando los estruja en sus amorosos brazos, y la gente cambia de acera cuando lo ve venir corriendo, deseándole feliz Navidad a los edificios.
Un consejo: Si cansado de que huyan de sus abrazos, una Nochebuena cualquiera está considerando tirarse de un puente, y un vejete en camisón se le adelanta… no acuda a su rescate, que sus razones tendrá para haberse tirado. La naturaleza es sabia; deje que siga su curso.
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